Where the Sunbeams End

Part 1

Around 15 years ago I was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It’s quite the trip, having a doctor tell you that you have a mental illness. I’m still coming to terms with it today, still learning what it all means and how to live with the symptoms.

Where the Sunbeams End is my attempt to continually heal. It’s a search through my subconscious, through old memories and the dark corners of my mind. Certain memories linger and haunt me. What do they mean? Is there a way to figure out this bipolar mind? Is it possible to learn from these chapters of my life? What is mental illness?

This whole project has been one big experiment, not just from a mental health perspective, but a writing perspective too.

I’m attempting to tell a very real story, but it’s funny, the things we remember. I get the feeling that what we remember isn’t always what happened. But it becomes our truth. In a way, this story is true, in a way it’s completely fiction.

Over the past year I’ve been slowly releasing a chapter at a time, letting my readers come along with me as I write out my story.

But as I’ve gotten deeper into the writing and become more experienced I started to think about what the finished product would look like.

One day down the road I’d like to have a physical copy of this story. A real book that I can hold in my hands. Which brings me back to this post you’re currently reading.

Obviously this is not the physical copy, but it’s as close to format and style that I could get to. There have been edits made, mistakes corrected (still probably didn’t catch them all), while still staying true to the story that you’ve hopefully been enjoying.

The most obvious change is the lack of chapters. There are still page breaks and I believe you will find this version to be more reader friendly. The format more closely mimics how it was for me to sit and let memories drift through my mind.

I’ve reached the end of part 2 in what I imagine as a 4 part book. This is part 1. I hope you enjoy.