The Bluest Eyes

Short Story

This short story is an edited and re-written version of “I remember.” A story that featured in Avalon Literature and Arts Magazine.

I became unhappy with how the published version turned out. It veered too far from the original story. The story below is much closer to the first draft, while also containing parts of later drafts. I hope you enjoy “The Bluest Eyes.”

Photo by 🐣 Luca Iaconelli 🦊 on Unsplash

That night we drifted down the old back country roads. Fence lines and pastures.  House windows spewed light into the darkness. The touch of skin as she passed the blunt. Incubus’s Aqueous Transmission boomed through the car’s stereo system.

“I'm floating down a river

Oars freed from their homes long ago

Lying face up on the floor

Of my vessel

I marvel at the stars

And feel my heart overflow”

I reached over for the volume knob and turned it slightly to the left, “Hey, watch this car up here.”  

I’m not sure why I always agreed to let her drive, especially when we were smoking, which was all the time. She paid me no mind, and we were quickly upon the old pickup. 

“What the fuck are they doing?” She said as she steered the car into the left lane and accelerated past the truck.

“Jesus Anna, these are back roads!  Not everyone likes flying down ‘em at sixty, plus maybe they’re rollin one up?”

“Fuck ‘em.” 

I rolled my eyes, yet a small smile spread across my lips. Country girl without a care in the world. I glanced over at her; the dashboard lights illuminated her face ever so slightly. I thought I should say something – anything to explain the feelings that had sprouted like vines and wrapped themselves around my heart. Suddenly, the car teemed with light.

“Oh shit!”

“You really must’ve pissed ‘em off when you flew by like that,” I said as I turned around. The old truck was right behind us with the high beams blaring, I could just about make out the silhouettes of two men in the cab.

“God damnit! I can barely see!”  

“Just stay calm, maybe slow down and let ‘em pass.”

“Fuck these motherfuckers!” She said as she quickly hit the brakes before accelerating once again.  

We momentarily pulled a distance ahead, but you can only drive so fast on winding back roads, so the two men were soon right on our ass again. I looked down and realized I was tightly gripping the handle on the door.  

“Look, just be easy. Take the right up here and head for the 7-11.” I said, trying my best to wrestle some control over the situation. 

I glanced over at her once more; her hands grasped the steering wheel tightly. Her face hid her emotions well, but the air seemed to be saturated with anxiety and fear. I took a deep breath as we meandered this way and that; it helped that she knew these roads so well from our many pot fueled rides, but I muttered to God and once again turned around into the vociferous light.  

~~~

Everyone gets to know everyone in a small town.  You may never talk, but everyone’s name eventually circulates through the grapevine. I’d known Anna existed since middle school.

I remember the excited voices of teenage boys and girls. I remember the smell of the brown leather bench seats. I remember the squeal of the door closing as the bus driver pulled that large handle to her right. 

I was a proud member of the boys basketball team. I had played rec league basketball and soccer, but this was the first time representing my school. It felt like the big time.  It was a way for me to feel part of something, but I also found that it boosted my social status, especially with the ladies.  

It was the first time I really saw Anna. The cheerleaders sat towards the front of the bus, while the boys basketball team sat towards the back. It must have been on the way to that playoff game we ended up losing. It wasn’t anything much. As I sat down, I looked up and there she was. Eyes locked with mine. She lit up for just a second before turning back to her friends. It was that light in her eyes.  

~~~

“They’re just fucking with us Anna, turn up here and see if they follow.”

“I know Scott! I’m going to the 7-11!”  

The road straightened out for a spell, and she sped forward before dangerously turning right towards Route 7. The truck continued to follow. The yellow lines returned to the center of the road as we raced ever closer to our destination.

This wasn’t our typical blunt ride, but more often than not we ended up at some convenience store in search of munchies. I was sure that the 7-11 would be a safe haven and that we’d be laughing about this in just a few minutes, while we picked out Doritos, Funyons, and Cheetos.

But my optimism began to wane as the truck’s headlights continued to bathe her car in intense light. 

“When we get there, just run inside.”  

~~~

Anna had been on my so-called radar ever since that glance on the bus. But in high school she dated one of my best friends. Daniel was the star striker on the soccer team, while I was the goalkeeper. Daniel was a clever player, and not just on the soccer pitch. High school guys will do most anything to get laid. Pussy is the goal for a lot of men even after high school. This has always been a difficult perspective for me to understand. However, I also wonder if girls don’t come to expect it and are almost put off when you aren’t eagerly going for their pants.  

Daniel had a habit of cheating on his girlfriends and then confessing his sins to me.  Anna was no exception to the rule. So of course, Anna came asking one day.  

“Hey, Scott. I gotta ask you something.”

“What’s up Anna?”

“Has Daniel ever cheated on me?”

I tried not to let my face give anything away, but deep down I really did want to tell her the truth.  

“Umm. No, he’s never mentioned anyone else.”

“I know he tells you everything!” 

“Anna, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“And you’d tell me if I did?” 

“Yeah, of course I would.”  

I know she deserved better. But Daniel had also trusted me. Daniel was just doing what guys do. The girls loved him, but I think deep down they knew he wasn’t the faithful kind of lover. He was charismatic, flirty, fit, and handsome. The girls couldn’t help themselves just as much as Daniel couldn’t help himself.

It was hard hearing him talk about his sexual adventures, especially the nitty gritty details about Anna. But all I cared about in high school was being a good goalkeeper and winning at all costs. I couldn’t risk our team’s camaraderie and I couldn’t break Daniel’s trust. But when Anna asked me, that light in her eyes dimmed.  

~~~

The 7-11 sign streamed light upon the road just ahead and the pickup followed us into the parking lot. Anna pulled into a spot near the door and bolted inside. The truck didn’t park but came to a stop right behind us. I took a deep breath and quickly stepped out of the car. Standing up straight with my chest out, I turned to face the men.

“Hey, old man,” a raspy voice called out. I still couldn’t quite make out the faces of the two men sitting in the dim cab of the truck. Old man? Was he talking to me?  I turned my head slightly, looking for the old man he spoke of. 

I didn’t see the barrel of the shotgun slip out of the truck’s window. But then the flash and explosion. My left hand erupted and was gone, blood splattered and poured to the asphalt below as I stumbled shakily against the open car door behind me. My mouth agape, my whole body starting to quake, I stared at my wrist momentarily. A loud click brought my focus back to the barrel of the gun. Another flash and explosion and I felt my body sliding against the car door. Drool dripped down my face as I lowered my head peering down at my caved in chest. My head stayed slumped, but I lifted my eyes, past the men in the truck, past the light thrown from the 7-11 sign, and into the stars on the horizon.

Then her face appeared. She pushed that dirty blonde hair away from the bluest eyes and then that smile. Then darkness gave way to a mix of stars, planets, whole galaxies. It felt reminiscent of those times as a child when I would tightly close my eyes and bury my face in the curve of my arm, creating a little star show. Only now, everything was so vivid and clear. The beauty was devastating, and I was overcome with gratitude. Grateful for every little moment of my life, especially this one.  

~~~

I remember the sunlight winking and waving through the leaves of the trees as we walked along that river inlet. The water grew colder with each advancing step. She asked me to pick her up and carry her. Skin to skin we walked silently as one. The river inlet led to a basin of water just below the small falls. She climbed out of my arms as the water grew deeper and let out a little moan of shock. The water was frigid. The crash of the waterfall filled our ears as we ducked beneath the overhanging rock.  

~~~

I died right there outside that 7-11. Only not really. The movie never ends but goes on and on. Our universe, with its innumerable galaxies and stars, spanning billions of light years may not be the only one. God knows how, but I stumbled into another, entirely different universe, and that’s where I heard that raspy voice again. 

“Did you hear me old man? Fuck you!”

I stood with my chest out, glaring at the two men in the truck. I didn’t say a word.  Then they left, leaving only the sound of squealing tires.

I stood perplexed. Was it just fear? Did I simply imagine everything? Then why can’t I forget the flash and explosion, the stars, galaxies, her smile, and those eyes? And why does it feel like something died in me that night? 

We’ve drifted apart, me and her, but I know that in some universe closely resembling this one, Anna and I kissed under that waterfall and right now we are cruising down back country roads with Incubus blaring through the speakers.

“I'm building an antenna

Transmissions will be sent

When I am through

Maybe we can meet again

Further down the river

And share what we both discovered

Then revel in the view”