It was a pleasure to read this story. The thoughts, the flashbacks, the sudden death, or not, are excellently set in the scene and described with great care.
Interesting that you didn't prefer the published version. But that may happen more than we think. It's more obvious in film, and my film buff friends almost always prefer the director's cut to the theatrical version.
I think the published version just told a bit of a different story. Not the one I set out to tell and it just had some issues after reading through it over and over. You can check out the published one here: https://petersmetanick.substack.com/p/i-remember
I stumbled upon an original draft this past weekend and reworked it. I think the story you just read is closer to my vision. Anyways, thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
It was a pleasure to read this story. The thoughts, the flashbacks, the sudden death, or not, are excellently set in the scene and described with great care.
Many thanks for this excellent read!
🙏 Thank you my friend, always good to hear positive feedback.
Interesting that you didn't prefer the published version. But that may happen more than we think. It's more obvious in film, and my film buff friends almost always prefer the director's cut to the theatrical version.
Thanks for reading Bill!
I think the published version just told a bit of a different story. Not the one I set out to tell and it just had some issues after reading through it over and over. You can check out the published one here: https://petersmetanick.substack.com/p/i-remember
I stumbled upon an original draft this past weekend and reworked it. I think the story you just read is closer to my vision. Anyways, thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!
Wow! That was intense!
Hey Liz! Thanks for giving me a read :)
Excellent story, Peter! You had me from the first paragraph, especially the shotgun shots! Good grief that was realistic!
Hey C.J. :)
Thanks for the compliment! I really do hope you enjoyed the story <3
I did and you’re welcome.
Great job with this Peter. Enjoyed it. - Jim
Thanks Jim, glad to hear it!