Oh, I felt for the young narrator - his guilt came across as so real. This line was great: “nothing prepares a child for the death of a beloved saint” - it’s true.
I loved this and invite you to stop by my Stack and read Parts 1 & 2 of Escape from the Garden - it is also a childhood retrospective piece I hope you might enjoy half as much as I have enjoyed yours. Glad I got in on the beginning chapter and look forward to reading much more!
Batman in the tub, eh? I bathed with the 1975 Weeble Wobble Treasure Island set. Yep, I'm that old! I knew what had happened when Ray came in wailing. Good story telling Bro.
Oh, this is very good. Digging up memories and allowing them to breathe in the light of day. The way a child’s mind connects things…it’s lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Hey Peter — cool to be reading this —I’m interested in the way you’ve prefaced the final realization with the detailed description of the house.
I’m not sure what you intended but it feels like the townhouse with its furniture and spaces—outside of a child’s design and control, though they are a child’s world—is suddenly juxtaposed to the somewhat dark epiphany that there is a world of consequences out there waiting. Does the razor at the beginning prime us for this later epiphany, though?
I caught some whiff of Joyce’s short story “Araby” here.
Was curious about a “fictional memoir” - really enjoyed the first chapter! The opening metaphor of the drips from the faucet rippling into the bath at the beginning - and the protagonist’s realization of his own ripples at the end … excellent stuff.
Childhood innocence lost, simultaneous with the gravity of responsibility… a daunting realization that the ripples of his life may be small relative to the vastness of the bath, but they are infinite too.
An important concept to understand! If we forget that even our thoughts make ripples in the outer world, life will provide reminders.
Mari, thanks for reading and leaving a comment :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And yes, life does provide those little reminders it seems.
Oh, I felt for the young narrator - his guilt came across as so real. This line was great: “nothing prepares a child for the death of a beloved saint” - it’s true.
Hey Stephanie...thanks for swinging by my page. Hope you enjoyed reading this one :)
Definitely did, looking forward to the next chapter
Thanks for sharing. I love how you’ve captured a story arc within the first chapter.
Hey C.M. thanks for giving me a read! Glad you seem to have enjoyed the chapter. I'll have to check out your page too!
Great start!!!
Really loved this, thank you!
Great beginning. Looking forward to reading the rest.
Thanks for checking this out Andrei! Hoping you enjoy :)
I loved this and invite you to stop by my Stack and read Parts 1 & 2 of Escape from the Garden - it is also a childhood retrospective piece I hope you might enjoy half as much as I have enjoyed yours. Glad I got in on the beginning chapter and look forward to reading much more!
Hey Tracy, thanks for reading. Really glad you enjoyed this piece :) I will definitely give you a read! Looking forward to it!
Batman in the tub, eh? I bathed with the 1975 Weeble Wobble Treasure Island set. Yep, I'm that old! I knew what had happened when Ray came in wailing. Good story telling Bro.
Hey Lynn, everything was Batman for awhile ha. Thanks for your kind words :) Hope you enjoyed.
Oh, this is very good. Digging up memories and allowing them to breathe in the light of day. The way a child’s mind connects things…it’s lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading and for your lovely words of encouragement Jenn <3
Hey Peter — cool to be reading this —I’m interested in the way you’ve prefaced the final realization with the detailed description of the house.
I’m not sure what you intended but it feels like the townhouse with its furniture and spaces—outside of a child’s design and control, though they are a child’s world—is suddenly juxtaposed to the somewhat dark epiphany that there is a world of consequences out there waiting. Does the razor at the beginning prime us for this later epiphany, though?
I caught some whiff of Joyce’s short story “Araby” here.
Wonderful beginning! 🖤
Thank you Rebekah ❤️
Was curious about a “fictional memoir” - really enjoyed the first chapter! The opening metaphor of the drips from the faucet rippling into the bath at the beginning - and the protagonist’s realization of his own ripples at the end … excellent stuff.
Childhood innocence lost, simultaneous with the gravity of responsibility… a daunting realization that the ripples of his life may be small relative to the vastness of the bath, but they are infinite too.
Unique and highly relatable 🤘
Hey E.T. thanks for reading...really appreciate the comment too! Glad to know you enjoyed the chapter :)
wow what a great begining to a fictional memoir.Good for you being consistant for this!
All I can say is you should read on if you're curious...but I love your interpretation.
As for the comparison to Joyce...wow. loved that story.