no contact order

Short Story

Photo by Matthew Ansley on Unsplash

Hello everyone, this short story is a continuation of two other stories. To read the first two click on the buttons below.

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But in the end, I reckon it was me who got turned upside down.

It’s funny, when you love someone, you look past a lot of things, you ignore what some folk might call red flags.

All them nights without no love, all that sexual tension, all them nights spent up arguing.

Yeah, you’d think at some point I woulda said enough is enough.

But there was something holding me back, I always thought a relationship had its waves of highs and lows. I reckon I didn’t realize the tsunami I was caught up in, I just figured we’d get through it all together. Yeah, but looking back I can’t help but feel like a fool. Had too many chances to leave and break off in decent shape.

But by the time things finally splintered in two, I can’t say I was in too decent shape. Yeah, I held on too long, but love’ll do that to ya I reckon.

See she got sober and started taking them pills from that psychiatrist. It seemed pretty good, but it changed her. We still had some of them arguments at night, but she wasn’t sloppy no more. I remember sitting out at that Asian or Thai food restaurant, I always did like that drunken noodle, and I remember asking her if we would make love that night, see when a guy is desperate I reckon he says making love, rather than fuckin’.

Well, she explained in that calculated, logical way, that she didn’t wanna make love as I called it that night. Sad to say I kept beggin’ even after we got home from dinner. Yeah eventually I guess I broke her down, but I’m not sure what we did that night counts as making love.

Saddest fuck I ever had. Barely got going, yeah, I remember lookin’ down at my cock thinkin’ he knew before me that we was done, me and my ex.

I think what hurt the most is that she was finally doing better for herself, but that meant she didn’t want nothin’ do with me.

Yeah, I remember getting down off my forklift at work, cop asking for me with them papers in his hand. She left for a friend’s and even took out that no contact order as it’s called.

Yep and that’s how I ended up here, sittin’ in this damn cell. Don’t you worry though, it only a one night kinda thing. I’m grateful they let me have a pencil and paper, just to jog my mind and pass the time. Time is a funny thing when you’re locked up, not even a window, where that light lets you know the minutes are turning to hours.

Yeah that night I was drinkin’ again and yeah, you guessed it, I got sloppy. I was alone up at that brewery, poundin’ them IPA’s, they ain’t like the regular beers. Well them emotions of mine were all over the place, yeah I wasn’t feeling quite ready to say goodbye. In my drunken stupor, I thought that that no contact order had ended, so yeah, I called her up, didn’t get no answer, but left that sad and sorry voicemail, beggin’ her to think it over.

They called me over that loud speaker at work the next day, yep, still stinkin’ of them IPA’s and that same cop was waiting for me. He was nice enough, said he’d wait til we got to his car to put them cuffs on me, so as not to embarrass me in front of my coworkers. I told him, it don’t really matter. At that point, it didn’t feel like anything really mattered.

Yeah, he told me I should lose that number. Can’t be calling her anymore.

I got me one of them court appointed lawyers, and I told him that I thought that no contact order was over when I called. He just told me that I was stupid for making that call. Nothing he could do.

I admitted to that judge that I probably had a hard time pulling that bandaid off, emotionally I was still attached. I reckon it was the suddenness of the whole thing. I shoulda been the one to pack my bags, but she done sucker punched me in a way I wasn’t ready for. It is interesting when you love someone, or maybe it ain’t even the love, but the change, you just try to fight that change in all the ways you know how.

Worse part about tonight was strippin’ down naked in front of that guard, limp dick and all, and doing that lil squat to make sure you ain’t hidin’ nothin’ up your ass.

He asked me if I wanted to take a shower, I said no thank ya, just took one.

But I’ll be out tomorrow morning, and I guess I won’t have no choice but to face that change.